Goodness gracious August and September were hard months. It’s safe to say that even in 20 years, I’ll look back on the summer of 2013 with more sadness than happiness.
Thanks for bearing with me while I wrote (and didn’t write, and allowed guests) about my mom. For something so normal, death is a really hard thing to get comfortable with. I find that I have good days, and I have hard days. And even the good days can be good until I get a memory caught in my throat, or I think about the holidays and how different they’re going to be.
Thanks for all the emails, the phone calls, the cards, the Facebook posts, the blog comments, and the hugs.
For those of you I don’t see that often, I’ll be cashing in on some serious hugs at #FinCon13.
For anyone who has yet to go through losing a parent, hug them, tell them you love them, and when they’re gone, don’t try to stop the tears. Tears heal. Tears are okay. You don’t have to feel a certain way, ever. You just have to feel.
The mourning process doesn’t come with a how-to guide, at least not when you don’t subscribe to any religion. However, I’ve decided to choose Judaism as my model for how to mourn for a parent. In Judaism, you’re supposed to go to the synagogue every single day, twice a day, for eleven months. So, I’ll skip the “head to a religious institution” part and give myself a year to be sad when I want to. I don’t need to feel one way or another.
The Sharon O’Malley Scholarship Fund
If you’d like to donate money in my mom’s name, you’re a big sweetie. She went to this awesome college in Kentucky called Berea, and their concept is “free tuition for all”. They’re a little liberal arts school that has never charged tuition. You have to demonstrate need, and if you graduate, your kids can’t go. The idea is that you bring your family up and out of poverty so your kids don’t need to go. Anyway, it really worked for her, and this is a one-time ask, so don’t worry. Frugal Portland won’t be changing anytime soon to “give money to the cause I believe in”.
Checks for this fund (there’s no online widget) can be mailed to:
Berea College, CPO 2216, Berea, KY40404
put “Sharon Tollett O’Malley” on the note section of the check.
End of PSA, thank you kindly!
Evaluating my 2013 Love List
At the end of last year, I created a “love list” for 2013. In March, I checked in to see how things were going. Then I promptly lived my life without checking that list, and honestly, I’m interested to see what’s on there!
Here’s what I’ve accomplished (that I set out to do in December 2012):
- Add yoga back into my life. After not exercising for a while, and eating all of the chips, there’s been a little bit of a setback (hello, bigger pants!) but I’m back on track, and not beating myself up for missing a downward dog or five.
- Pay off student loan and car loan. Yes, that’s right. If you’re new here, I’m debt free except for my mortgage (which is like being full except for ice cream!)
- Visit Nana. I went to her place in January, and she came to see me in August.
- Speak at a conference for work.
- Speak at Fincon13. Okay, well, this won’t happen for another week (9 days) but it will happen. I’ll be speaking about the only tools you need to be a successful blogger. It’s on Friday afternoon at 2pm, and I’d love to see you!
- Get “Naked with Cash” at Consumerism Commentary. My net worth updates (and those of some other people) are available for scrutiny over at @flexo’s blog.
- Complete the Yakezie challenge. Yes, now I know the secret handshake. It’s pretty cool.
- Spend more time with friends and family. I’m happy that I did this before Mom died — but it’s important now, too. Hug your family and your friend-family. Don’t spend too much time alone. Plenty of people love you!
I’m still working on creating, but that’s not for lack of scheming on my part! Goodness gracious, some days it’s like steam is coming out of my head for all the ideas that float out. Think Pigpen, only not stinky. Just ideas. Schemy.
I’m happy October is here (seven days in), and I’m thrilled to feel like I’m settling back into a routine that I enjoy. There’s something to be said for normality. Something good.
There’s a giveaway going on that my new-to-me friend Anton is hosting. He’s giving away a copy of “The Richest Man in Babylon” — I haven’t read it, but it sounds really interesting (and has a psychedelic cover, to boot). You can enter very easily just by being my Facebook fan. You are a fan of me on Facebook, right?