plan Archives » Frugal Portland

The Pros and Cons of Online Dating, Part Two

Apr 082013

When I wrote earlier about whether I should try online dating, you guys had a lot of great advice. It was pointed out that perhaps I wasn’t ready to date, and that my list was just a big list of excuses.

I can’t say that those commenters were wrong. I wasn’t ready. But then I got ready.

And I’m here to update my list based on my experiences in the wild world of dating people on the internet.

Pros of Online Dating

I get to meet new people.
Most people who are into online dating are fairly normal. Some are even cute.
It just changes how you meet someone, the rest of the rules are pretty normal.
I can meet people in my pajamas, and strike up fun conversations even when I don’t look presentable enough to go outside.
There’s always that chance that a spark will ignite, even when meeting people online.
I get to try new happy hours, or if I get to pick, I get to go to my favorite Portland places.
There are good dates, there are mediocre dates, and there are dates that make for amazing stories (that I’m too kind and gentle to post here!).
In 2013, there is no stigma associated with online dating. So there doesn’t have to be any kind of fake story about how we “bumped into each other at a happy hour” (not that I’ve ever fibbed like that, ahem!).

he’s editing my profile

Cons of Online Dating

It’s a lot of work. I mean, I work in marketing, and my hobby is blogging, so I have to be charming and witty and on my game most of the day. The internet dating thing just adds more to that. There are back and forth emails, then there’s the “let’s go have a drink” conversations, and sometimes, I just want to hang out with my friends or by myself. Even extroverts hit their limit.
There are two kinds of people who are looking for dates online: those that can’t get dates otherwise because of some limitation, and those that are too lazy to go meet people in other ways. I’d like to think I’m in the latter group, but that might just be wishful thinking. Unfortunately, I have found that there are many people in the former group, who can hide some limitation for a while on the internet, only to have it blatantly obvious within one minute of meeting.
I am, frankly, not very good at dating. I think it’s way too obvious that I don’t like the game, so I tend to get excited too soon, and then get far too disappointed that he never called/texted/sent a postcard. Ever since I realized this trait, though, I’ve lightened up, and decided to take things slowly. Now I’m no longer thinking, as I get ready to go out, will this be my last first date? and turning that “crazy” off has done wonders for me.
Some people give off a very creepy vibe. I take my privacy (and safety!) very seriously, so when I get the feeling someone is kind of creepy, it makes me wonder if I’m doing the right thing being online.
It’s not always fun. Of course it isn’t. There is a real temptation to try to cover all my bases and join up with all the sites, but the idea of that is repulsive. Andrea already did the legwork to let me know never, ever, to do Plenty of Fish, so I have it narrowed down to two.

My Experience with Dating Sites

I don’t know what finally made me decide to try, but I think, honestly, I clicked an ad on an NPR article. It was for a different kind of dating site called “How About We” and instead of an intense profile, you just answer some very basic questions and then suggest a date. “How about we… check out xyz at the something or other”. Fun! They let you do a few things for free, but then if someone emails you, you have to pay to see it.

But it’s fun — you get to look at fun things to do in your city rather than see about someone’s income level and education and number of children. And also you have to pay to read messages. So the instant I got a message, I pulled out my credit card. Vanity, right?

And, even though I am in marketing and I know how to price things, the dating pricing structure totally works on me. It’s only marginally more expensive for three months than for one. So, of course I signed up for three months (even though in the back of my head I hoped that the message that was waiting for me was from the one and I wouldn’t need that long! — I told you, I’m better now).

Then I realized something. This site is really new. So, as cool as it is, there are only 100 guys in my area on it. While each and every one of them is awesome in his own way, I don’t think I’ll be going out with very many of them.

So, I thought, while I’m here on the internet and interested in online dating, I’d diversify. I signed up with OKCupid as well. That is a free site, with everything that goes along with that. My user name has the word frugal in it (are you surprised?) so sometimes I get really good lines, like, “you’re not very frugal with that smile” which… does that work? For anyone? But there are some nice guys on there as well.

My sister thinks I should give Match a try but I have this feeling that I do not need to be on three dating sites.

Something about overkill.

April 8, 2013 dating, plan 39 Responses »

I’m Not Only a Client, I’m Also a Member!

Mar 252013

I made it, friends!

I’m now legit in the eyes of Yakezie.

Go see my member post here, and check back tomorrow for a longer (more than eleven word) post.

xoxo,

Kathleen

March 25, 2013 plan 18 Responses »

One Letter Makes All the Difference

Mar 202013

I talked to my mom the other day on the phone. Nothing out of the ordinary, there.

“What are you up to?” she asked.

“Oh, just hanging out with some blogger friends tonight. We’re meeting up for happy hour.”

just like this

“Excuse me?” she said, in a tone that implied that she didn’t like that I was going to happy hour or something.

I was ready to get defensive, justify the expense, whatever.

Instead, I simply repeated myself.

“You know, blogger friends.”

Again, she couldn’t understand.

She sounded mystified. So I tried another tactic.

“My friends from the internet?”

“OH!” she responded. “I was trying to figure out how you have logger friends.”

Mom heard this

It was then that I realized how much one letter can really change things.

Also, I live in Oregon, so I know what a logger looks like. Those of you who live here will back me up on this. It’s a spitting image.

The rest of you will have to trust me.

I’m still tickled by the conversation. It makes me laugh to think that I have lumberjack friends.

Thanks, Mom, for the fun giggles!

March 20, 2013 plan 28 Responses »

Frugal Shopping: Joining a CSA

Mar 192013

Jeff mentioned the other day about preserving food without canning. Something about how they liked to make jam, but not eat it.

It reminded me: I need to join a CSA this year! So, thanks, Jeff, for kicking me!

CSAs, at a Glance

CSA stands for community supported agriculture, and it’s basically like buying shares in a company, only these shares are edible. You give the farmer x dollars for the season, and they are buoyed by the early support (winter is a lean time for farmers) and assume some of the risk. In other words, you don’t get your money back if the strawberries fail. This helps the farmer innovate — they’ll try out new crops when money is a sure thing.

And it’s cool for the consumer, too.

We all need more vegetables in our lives. Yes, even you. But sometimes we need a trick to make sure we’re eating super local, in-season produce all throughout the growing season.

That’s where the CSA comes in. I did some research and ended up signing up with Winter Green Farm. I’m splitting with a coworker, so for $267.50, I get fresh vegetables and fruit for 19 weeks of the growing season, with the option to extend, for extra money, later this year.

Then, just because I couldn’t resist, I joined a berry-only CSA. That means, for ten glorious weeks, I’ll be getting two full pints of fresh berries! The farm told me that was usually just an add-on, but since I was at least getting a veggie share from somewhere, they’d let me have berries only, which is good, because I don’t want to share with my coworker. And she doesn’t like berries anyway.

Updated to add: if you want to look for a CSA in your area, go to Local Harvest. It’s an ugly site, but it’s effective, and it’s where I found mine.

In Other News — New logo!

Those of you who read on your phones might not have noticed yet, but I made a new logo and changed the look of Frugal Portland, again. Now you can always see my face (lucky you!) and the new cute logo I made (with serious style tips from Shannyn!).

It was inspired by this sign:

via Wikipedia

And here’s my rendition:

new logo!

I like it a lot! I also like playing around with logos, though, so I can’t guarantee this one will be around forever, but definitely for now.

Things just got a lot more girly up in here.

I’m really excited about the CSA. I skipped it last year, because the year before, my coworker and I split it and I was out-of-town too much to enjoy it (and we also got two pounds of potatoes a week — who can eat that many?) and I thought I’d just go to the farmers market more. I did, but I don’t think I ate as many farm fresh vegetables as I could have.

This year, though, I set it up so that I was picking up my share directly from the farmers market. The farmers market is a really fun place to people watch, as well as buy food directly from the producer. I don’t get there as often as I’d like. Not anymore! Now I have to go, even just to get my CSA share.

Would you join a CSA? Have you done them before?

March 19, 2013 conscious spending, eating things, frugal fun, frugal living, plan 31 Responses »

Sprucing up Your Garden

Mar 092013

As the temperatures warm, it’s a great time to start getting your garden or backyard ready for spring and summer. Having a garden is a great, relaxing hobby. Not only is gardening very healthy, it also provides a beautiful, relaxing place to spend warm, sunny days. Figuring out what blooms and plants you want is only the beginning. To fully take advantage of your gorgeous backyard, be sure to also get some outdoor furniture so that you can entertain in the long summer days and nights.

Choosing the Right Plants

One of the hardest parts of gardening can be deciding what to grow. One option is planting fruit trees and vegetable plants. They can be beautiful, and you will have healthy, delicious home grown food to indulge in. Another option is planting flowers and plants that are native to your location. Because they are used to thriving in your climate, it is easier to take care of them and they require less resources like water. For creative people, you can come up with a color scheme or design using a variety of plants. Of course, you can always just opt for you favorite flowers or plants.

Garden Party Ready

Being able to entertain in your beautiful backyard will boost your social life. You can easily make it so that your home is the most popular party location. If you don’t want to entertain large parties, having somewhere nice for yourself and your family to relax is worth creating a gorgeous garden. Start by finding nice patio furniture. You will want to take time to find furniture that is comfortable and will last. It is worth it to spend a bit more money to get quality furniture you will want to spend all day in. Sometimes stores will have deals, like where you can save 10% off patio cushions, lighting, umbrellas & more.

Outdoor Decorations

In addition to the furniture, you might want to invest in some backyard equipment, like barbeques or heaters. These will make your backyard ready for entertaining. You can cook all of your summer meals outdoors and just enjoy being surrounded by nature. Having a nice heater or firestone will keep you warm on nights it gets a little chilly. Additionally, you can add some décor like Japanese lanterns. Depending on the size of your backyard, you can look into putting a nice fountain or sculpture to add a bit of pizzazz.

Update Your old Garden

If you already have a nice garden, you can still spend the time doing some quick updates. If there is room for new plants, try a new variety of flower or plant to add something new to your garden. If you already have nice furniture and décor, look to see if anything is ready to be replaced. Because it spends all the time outdoors, the furniture can often start to look worn. Even if it does not need to be replaced, it might need to be cleaned, repainted, or even reupholstered.

March 9, 2013 plan No Responses »

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