kathleen

May 162013
 

Anne, from Unique Gifter, came up with a fabulous wedding gift idea.

If you’re buying something boring off the registry, choose sheets, and make it fun.

Here’s how.

Buy the sheets.

Yawn.

Understand that sheets are something people don’t like to buy for themselves. If I could register for presents (no, I won’t, I’m not Carrie Bradshaw!) then I would always have fancy sheets on my list.

But I don’t like buying them myself. Nor do most brides and grooms, it turns out.

So, why not make it fun and awesome?

awesome fort kit to make sheets more fun!

Click here to view the whole post. It’s a really fun way to buy something boring, and make it fun.

I would do it for my sister and her husband-to-be! I would LOVE to be on the receiving end of a present like this! How fun!

May 142013
 

In a week and a half, I’m buying a condo.

I feel like I should take a bow.

Yes, I am excited. There’s a Pinterest board that my sister and I are sharing to pretend-decorate the new place. I’ve priced out some stupid shades from Ikea, that will be just fine until we find beautiful curtains that will really tie the room together.

I’ve signed 490 pieces of paper, both electronically and via PDF/fax/scan/email. I’ll be lucky if I don’t end up with a mail-order bride based on the sheer volume of things I’m signing that I haven’t fully scrutinized. For all I know, Andi is going to make me sign a piece of paper that states, “Andi is the bestest in the westest ever,” and I probably won’t even bat an eye.

One thing that did strike my attention, though, was Private Mortgage Insurance, or PMI.

What is PMI? (Private Mortgage Insurance)?

frugal portland's new home

new place has a gas range

As far as I can tell, PMI is an expensive scam. It’s insurance that you pay if you don’t have 20% equity in your home. Insurance is all well and good, but this insurance is different. This insurance does not insure you, the homeowner, from anything.

Instead, you’re paying insurance to cover the bank’s butt, should you walk away from your home without 20% equity.

Also, it doesn’t just automatically disappear once you’ve hit the magical 20% threshold. No. You have to figure out who to call, figure out how to get that payment removed, how to get your own money back.

When I was looking, my mortgage guy showed me a loan where PMI was $225 a month, or … you know, more than a car loan!

And that’s just absurd.

Why do “They” Offer PMI, Anyway?

This is the part that really gets me. Clearly, allowing us to buy a house with less than 20% as a down payment is a nice thing to do. It opens up the possibility of home ownership to those of us who want to take advantage of these interest rates but are years away from having enough money to put down. I’m definitely in this boat, but due to the generosity of my parents, I don’t have to pay PMI.

I was talking to a friend about PMI, and she doesn’t see it as something so evil (to be fair, she was quoted $115 a month for PMI, verses the $225 a month that I was shown).

She said that in her family’s situation, PMI is a small price to pay for the ability to have cash around, in an easily-accessible bank account. I get that. I mean, as much as I get anything that someone who has a completely different life explains to me.

What’s the Point of PMI?

I think, honestly, PMI is set up as a deterrent to people who don’t yet have 20% saved. It’s another barrier. It’s like they’re saying, “okay, so you don’t have enough equity. We are going to make you pay an extra fee each month just so we know you’re serious enough to stick in this house until you’ve built it up.

Should you do it?

I wouldn’t. If I weren’t the luckiest girl in the world who is getting a gifted down payment, then I would be renting, not owning. It’s one thing to pay a homeowner’s association fee.

It’s quite another to pay insurance that doesn’t protect you.

What about you? Would you get PMI? Would it depend on how much it cost? How much would you be willing to spend?
May 092013
 

I’ve written in the past about SaveUp, but it was a long time ago, so I’ll recap: it’s the gamification of saving money and paying off your debt. So you get a point for every dollar you pay off on a credit card, and a point for every dollar you put into savings.

You can trade points for plays. You get three plays a day, free, and 100 points gets you an extra play. You can spend 500 points a day to get yourself eight plays.

What can you win? Well, there are different levels: small and big, and different chances of winning, accordingly.

My SaveUp Strategy

For a while, I thought I’d go big. I mean, who doesn’t want a $50,000 dream vacation fund? Terrorists, that’s who. But the odds are way lower (of course). So I switched my strategy, and won!

Frugal Portland wins a Victoria's Secret Gift card from Saveup

oh hi, angel.

There are always new $100 gift cards for various things, and a few weeks ago, I saw one for Victoria’s Secret. My strategic brain got to thinking. Okay, that’s a more narrow potential pool, I thought. I’m going to go for that. So, SaveUp, unlike real investing, is a place where it is a good idea to put all of your eggs in one basket. The plays are free, and you have a better chance of winning when you just throw all of your plays into one low-payout prize, so why not go for that? Go for ones you’re interested in, but also think about the ones that are highly boring to other people. Right now, I’m going for Trader Joe’s, which I think is universally appealing, but it still would be nice to have free groceries* for a little while.

A few days later, I get something in the mail that makes me feel important. Someone sent me certified mail! I have to go to the post office (conveniently located five blocks from work) to go get a package! Turns out, SaveUp were just covering their bases so that someone wouldn’t take my hard-won prize.

Over the weekend, I went shopping. One of my favorite pastimes is going to Victoria’s Secret and pretending I can buy anything I want. I load up the cart. I add things with abandon. Nothing is out of reach! I am going to get everything!

This time, I actually did get to spend without thinking too much. However! It does not take much to reach $100. I had about $140 in my cart.

Enter RetailMeNot

Next, I went to RetailMeNot to cash in on discounts. Victoria’s Secret allows for three discount codes per order. The first one was a tiered discount. $15 off $100, $30 off $150, $75 off $250. I typed that in. The second was free shipping if you ordered bras (I did). The third was for a free pair of undies. Score! I did a little math. The first discount made things weird. If I found $10 more product to buy, my entire purchase would actually be $5 cheaper than if I didn’t buy $10 more things. Okay, well, that’s only a good idea if I only spend ten dollars. Not if I find a $50 something or other. But I had a feeling their 5 for $26 was a discount if you bought at least five pairs and not multiples of five pairs. So, I put two more pairs of undies in my cart.

And the price went down by $5!

So, with the SaveUp gift card I won, plus the discounts I found via RetailMeNot, my grand total was $20.40. And I got a lot of cool stuff.

This feels like winning, because the only kinds of clothing I buy new are my underclothes.

Because even Frugal Portland has limits.

Which may be another reason TLC hasn’t called me back. “Not extreme enough!”

 

*by groceries, of course I mean chocolate covered frozen bananas and all kinds of trail mix.

May 072013
 

Mother’s Day is rapidly approaching, and I can’t help but think about how amazingly lucky I am to have a mom like mine. I can’t be with her this weekend, since I committed to dog sitting for a friend before knowing that this Sunday is Mother’s Day, but I can tell her that I think she is awesome. I started thinking about it, and realized there are so many things that make my mom awesome.

 

Frugal Portland's Mom is Awesome

my mom, with my sister in the background

Here are 7 Reasons My Mom is Awesome

My Mom is Generous

Hello, gifting a down payment? Sending cooking magazines and fun treats to me every chance she gets? Taking me out to get pedicures with her, celebrating with me, buying me all kinds of cheese, she is just so generous. Her love languages are gifts and time spent together. She likes nothing better than to dork around with me in the kitchen, which just so happens to be one of my favorite things, too.

My Mom is Funny

Sometimes unintentionally, like when she thought I was having happy hour with loggers. Sometimes intentionally, with a well-told story that gets the group (whichever group she happens to be in!) laughing. She is extroverted and speaks with her hands, so her stories get intensely animated sometimes. She can get us laughing until we cry.

My Mom Always Supports My Dating Decisions

Even when some parents wouldn’t, my mom has always said that no matter what, she loves me and wants me to be happy. Her unconditional support showed itself early in my life, making sure I had a sweet valentine, even when she knew I wasn’t getting attention from boys. It showed up when I introduced her to my (significantly) older boyfriend, with whom she is still close today. She stood up for me once when my southern relatives were pressuring me to get married so they could come visit. “You,” she said, while gesturing to the table, indicating plural (she doesn’t say y’all anymore, she’s been in the Northwest too long), “are all cordially invited to the Pacific Northwest, any time you choose. We do not need Kathleen to rush into anything.” Once, I mentioned, half jokingly, that I’d need to get married in order to get a food processor. There was a new, shiny, gorgeous one on my doorstep two days later. The message was clear: do not feel sad about being single. Your mommy will buy you a food processor.

My Mom is a Strong Person

I don’t mean you should call my mom if you need help moving things. No. She is a tiny woman, but has a huge presence. Her opinions are strong and plentiful, and she is not shy about expressing them. We have that in common. She is every bit of a southern woman, and it’s rather extraordinary since she moved to Olympia 28 years ago. She is always impeccably dressed and exceedingly well put together. The woman doesn’t even own jeans, people! And would die before she’d wear yoga pants out in public. She’s not too proud to admit when she could use a little extra help, though, so when someone that strong asks you to come be with her, you do not hesitate.

My Mom is a Fantastic Cook

Sometimes, my sister and I tease my mom because even though we are grown women, she cooks as if we are linebacker teenage boys just coming back from a tough practice. But then, we sit down and see all of our favorite foods. So, we eat like linebackers. Which I suppose just proves her right, doesn’t it? We did need all that food. She loves my future brother-in-law because that boy can eat. I think I’d say that cooking for others is one of her love languages too, which we also have in common.

My Mom Loves Deeply

My mom is like a mama lion. Once you’re in her pack, she’d protect you with her dying breath. She has so much love in her heart, and she shares everything she can with those around her. She’ll spend perfectly gorgeous summer days turning produce into homemade canned goods. Not because she is being a frugal homesteader, but because she wants to share the bounty of her surplus with as many people as she can. She even signed up for the gift exchange so that she could share canned goods with a blogger.

My Mom is My Role Model

My mom grew up in a small town in Tennessee. She did not have much money, nor many opportunities. So she studied her tail off, finished first in her class (while introducing the miniskirt to her hometown!) and went to college to be a nurse. She climbed her way up the corporate ladder, and, not too long ago, made the switch to be a federal employee. Now she’s a big deal. And she got there on her own. She is my role model for what women can do if they put their mind to it. She is a feminist to her very core, and she votes in every election. She let it be known even when I was a little girl playing with dolls that I could grow up and be whatever I wanted to be.

Even if she were someone else’s mom, and I’d met her through work or something, I would consider myself lucky to be her friend. I don’t know how many people can say that, and I just don’t think there’s a bouquet big enough to let her know how special she is.

So, thanks, Mom, for always being awesome. Thanks for leading by example and acting with integrity, love and generosity. Thanks for instilling in me a strong sense of self. Thanks for teaching me manners. Thanks for teaching me to be curious. Thanks for all the cooking magazines. Thanks for never letting me feel like I need a man to feel complete.

Happy Mother’s Day.

To all you moms out there, I think you’re pretty special, too. It takes a lot of patience to turn a ball of energy into a human. And even on your hardest days, I know you’re doing a great job. I hope you enjoy your homemade cards and burnt toast breakfast in bed on Sunday.

May 032013
 

I’ve been thinking about happiness lately. The pursuit of happiness is one of the foundations upon which our nation was founded.

But it seems to me a little foolish to chase happiness.

A little… entitled to expect happiness in our lives.

Why are we Chasing Happiness?

What do we really hope to accomplish when we set out to find our happy place? Are we looking for perfection? Or a world where we never argue with our family?

Don’t get me wrong, friends. I am a happy girl. Am I happy because I make my bed every morning? Gretchen Rubin says that might be part of it. I’m not so sure. I make my bed (and do my dishes, and clean up clutter) in order to not go crazy. Clutter drives me nuts. I’d argue that happiness isn’t simply the opposite of being driven nuts, though it’s a lot harder to be happy when you’re irritated.

If Something Makes you Happy, Does More of that Thing Increase your Happiness?

Frugal Portland visits Cacao

three cups of perfection

A few weeks ago, a very good friend came to visit. He is a man of very few vices (he no longer drinks alcohol or coffee, stays away from sugar — he’s in great shape) and dark chocolate is one of his last remaining vices. There’s an amazing little chocolate bar in downtown Portland called Cacao that has the kind of hot chocolate you read about in the Polar Express (affiliate link, but hands down the best Christmas kids book of all time). It’s dark and thick, like melted chocolate bars. They also have about a zillion dark chocolate bars and chocolate sommeliers that can talk about chocolate bars that have hints of cherry or mahogany without a trace of sarcasm.

We ducked into this tiny slice of heaven after the skies had opened up and it was pouring outside. The rain was Hollywood style. We knew we’d be staying for a while, so we peeled off our outer layers and parked at one of the tables. After looking at everything on the menu, we decided to share a flight of their thick hot chocolates.

As we held our hands around these tiny cups, transferring their warmth to our hands, and eventually tasting the sublime chocolate, I said, “I know that chocolate somehow releases the “falling in love” signals in a person’s brain, but I have to tell you, that I cannot possibly fathom being happier than I am, right now, in this moment.” He’s a good enough friend that I could tell him I was simply in love with the moment, and he agreed. It was perfect.

I haven’t been back since.

I know that going back won’t make me happier, and the same goes for other things that make me happy. Ice cream makes me happy. More ice cream decreases my happiness (and gives me a tummy ache and a guilty conscience!). Going out for drinks makes me happy. Too many of those, and I’m sending text messages to the wrong people. Sitting out in the sunshine makes me blissfully happy, but if I did that every day, I’d get used to it, and instead of making me happier, I’d end up getting more upset on “normal Portland” days where the sky is gloomy and the rain is spitting.

Do We Have it Backwards?

What if, instead of chasing happiness, we instead tried our darndest to provide meaning? To do the hard work? To fill our lives with meaning? To do our part in making the world a better place?

Wouldn’t that be better?

A Suggested Alternative

Here’s my challenge for myself. For the next 20 days, I’m going to focus on increasing the happiness of those around me  instead of my own. That way, even though it’s easy to get bogged down in the fact that my whole life is going to be different at the end of this month than it is today, by focusing on the happiness of the important people in my life, I’ll get to my closing date with a lot less anxiety.

Do you want to join me? I’ll be keeping track of my daily progress on Facebook. We should be friends over there.