It kind of sucks.
There, I said it.
Thank you, engagement ring commercials. Thank you, romantic holiday movies. Thank you, everyone, for reminding the uncoupled among us which letter every kiss begins with. Thank you cold weather, for reminding us that snuggling is even better in the cold than it is in the summer.
But, I’m not one to throw a pity party, really. I have the best friends and family any girl could want, and I’m so very lucky. So, instead of sitting around, feeling sorry for myself, I’m throwing one heck of a dinner party. This weekend!
I wish you could come. Unless you are vegan. You won’t like it. But let’s be real, if you are vegan, I’ve probably already offended you and you wouldn’t want to come to my house anyway.
Holiday cheer for couples and singles at casa de Frugal Portland
We’re having prime rib. I’m making a giant piece of beef and cooking it to medium-rare perfection, for as many of my Portland friends as will fit in my little space. It’s the least frugal main dish ever. Also I’m a little terrified of screwing up something so… wonderful, and pricey. I mean, who likes well done prime rib? Goodness, that’s sad to even type. No. It’ll be perfectly medium-rare, with some rare bits (in the middle? is that how giant pieces of cow work?) for the more primal among us.
I’ll string up some lights. I’ll move my table to the middle of the room. Heck, people have parties in London and NYC, where my place would look HUGE, so this will be really a lot of fun.
Sure beats waiting at home in my pajamas for Mr. Perfect to come knocking. I figure, if I volunteer at the Humane Society during the day, and have friends over at night, it’s basically the recipe for a darn near perfect day. (Joe, I tried to write something stronger than darn, and I couldn’t!)
I’ll post pictures.
Other single people, how do you survive the holidays? Coupled people, consider calling your single friends this month. They don’t have plans. I swear.
Sounds like you'll be having a splendid time!
There must be other single folks whose family is far away like you on meetup.com or elsewhere no?
You know, I completely forgot about meetup.com. Thanks!
It sucks that certain times of year seem to leave single people out, big time. V day, holidays… but when spring break times roll around, those are geared towards single people, right? I know as adults we dont get spring break anymore, but … I do'nt know. Yeah, it sucks for single people someimtes.
Yeah it does, sometimes! But that\’s okay.
Come hang out with us! You'll be forced to play party games and Rock Band, but I'm sure you'd survive it.
One time I played Rock Band — NO! It was the dancing one — and I was told, "wow, I didn't know you could get so few points in this game" so if you need a token "dead last" person, I'm your girl!
"I wish you could come. Unless you are vegan. You won’t like it. But let’s be real, if you are vegan, I’ve probably already offended you and you wouldn’t want to come to my house anyway."
Ha! That made me laugh out loud! Have a great time at your dinner party. I don't eat a ton of meat, but prime rib sounds excellent:)
Thanks, Greg! I do, often, unintentionally, offend the vegans!
I’ve always been single around the holidays. I actually find it worse in springtime/mating time with so many hormones in the air. But here are some tips I have always found fun
1. Bring a friend to work parties. Even a girlfriend ensures you have someone to feel pretty with and to talk to if the coworkers you want to hang out with don’t show up.
2. Make sure you go to a party with some other single people in attendance on New Years Eve (if you go to NYE parties). Christmas and such isn’t usually so couply as to feel like a fifth wheel, but being the only single person at a party on NYE means a guaranteed 15 min of it getting painfully pointed out to you right around midnight.
3. Learn to really enjoy and revel in one activity that is better alone, weather spending a whole evening with a good book, watching movies in your pjs, or long bubble baths, etc. and appreciate that you can chose to relax with these for this season in your life.
4. Find one crazy holiday event to attend that is our of your comfort zone with bunches of new people, so you can have some stimulating conversation (hopefully) and try something new. something like this: http://www.meetup.com/downtown/events/86669592/
5. Go caroling. No seriously, this one is the best, even if you aren’t a good singer! Get 5-10 people together and just do it. It’s awesome to make strangers smile door to door.
I'm having a little dinner party/movie watching night this weekend too. As I've been single now for five years (OMG), it gets better. It helps that at even my age, most of my friends aren't married. But I still do get a twinge of sadness when I see movies and TV commercials too. But me, I don;t really care for jewelry, so in my opinion every kiss begins with mac product, more specifically and ipad. lol!
HA now that's a commercial I could get behind!
[...] The truth about being single around the holidays- Frugal Portland [...]
I can relate, even though I'm not single. My boyf always has to work throughout the holidays, so I fly down to my parents to spent Christmas with them and/or my sisters so that I'm not sitting at home alone. I'd still prefer to spend the holidays with my partner, though.
It's interesting how one can feel alone even when surrounded by people who love them.
And for whatever reasons, it's always worse around the holidays.
I think it's because there's this pressure to be coupley and spend time with the oneo you love the most.
Before I moved to Portland I had a ridiculously great time during the winters back home in Alaska. It didn't matter if you were single or coupled up because we had a TON of fun. We did game nights, cocktail parties, themed dinner parties, and lots of playing outside. It doesn't matter if you have a plus-one when you're reading the answers to Apples-to-Apples in silly voices and choking on laughter and seeing who can create the fanciest cocktail with the most ridiculous name. I say turn the tv off and spend more time with friends, exactly as you are doing. :o) Have a great time at your party because it sounds awesome!
That sounds fun — surprising, since winter in Alaska does not sound like all that much fun, to be honest! My friends are really inclusive, but you're right, I gotta turn the TV off and get out of my self!
Winter in AK is AWESOME because there is so much playing outside! I am an avid snowshoe-er and hiker and lots of people run and do cross-country skiing, snowboarding, etc. Granted, it's not like we did things every single night, but you don't sound like the type of girl to sit around and feel sorry for herself. If you are ever having a sad time where you're thinking, "Where, oh where, is a man for me?!" then I am sure you have enough friends you can call and spend time with. Your dinner party description made me drool, ha ha! Perfectly cooked prime rib is the BEST. Crunchy, crisp outside, bloody inside…..mmmmmmm…..
I did solo holidays but surrounded with like minded people it doesn't suck that much. On the plus side you can spend more time treating yourself and not running all over the stores to find the perfect gift for Mr Perfect. Enjoy the prime rib!
You're right — it doesn't suck that much — ALSO! I get to do whatever I want on the holidays, and I don't have to split time between anyone else's family!
Your dinner sounds like it is going to be delicious! Wish I could be there :-)
I've spent a number of Christmas holidays as a single gal.
Some years I flew home to be with my Dad and our small family, others I stayed in my own home.
Maybe spent a bit of time with some friends, but they usually had their own family things going on.
I didn't put up my tree when I was on my own, just strings of lights like you are doing. I would watch movies, eat whatever I wanted and drink Eggnog.
All I can say is enjoy it. It is just a phase and it too shall pass. Be happy!!
I will! Thanks, Sicorra! I'm serious, I'll cook for you if you're ever in my town!
I am going to visit Portland so we can eat beef and laugh at vegans someday. Just kidding, vegans are OK :). You might be single but you are also awesome, so it's going to be hard for you not to enjoy yourself and love life. Merry Xmas friend!!
It would be more fun if we went to a vegan bar and asked for chicken wings or something. :) But like I told Sicorra, I will cook for you if you come to my town!
If you were in FL, I could set you up! Recently got asked if I knew any local women 25-50, who are smart, compassionate, and pretty. But they need to live in FL =)
Good luck with the prime rib – that is one of Mr. PoP's favorite things to eat when we go to steak places, but I have never tried to cook it for him.
Ha! Thanks but your setup guy is highly geographically inconvenient! I'm thinking the prime rib won't be so hard but I'll let you know!——– Original message ——–
It's so, so easy, Mrs PoP — but I won't tell him if you don't. ;)
LOVE LOVE LOVE your attitude! I'm with PoP….if you weren't so far away I'd try hooking you up. Plus, aren't the holidays aren't supposed to be about family and friends and that kind of love? When did romance become a centerpiece? Stupid Hollywood. Stupid commercialism.
xoxo! if i weren't so far away we would be bottle of wine friends — and that's awesome.
I've heard prime rib is one of the easiest things to cook, but it intimidates me too much to try at this point. I imagine Christmas has to be somewhat better than Valentines Day. When I was single, I wanted to grafitti every stupid Valentine hearted thing in my path. I still don't do Valentine's Day even though I've been married for ten years. I think being at the humane society is a great idea. Pets always appreciate you and listen to everything you have to say.
I think I\’m lucky when it comes to Valentine\’s day — all of my coupled friends have the same view of that holiday as I do, and there aren\’t so many Hallmark movies!
I can send you three kids for a week to help ease you through the holidays!
This is my favorite prime rib recipe by the way:
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2011/12/prime-…
Good luck!
I read your recipe right before making my prime rib and it threw a wrench into things — she only cooks a 14 pounder for half an hour?!?!
Would love to hear how your Prime Rib comes out. It’s next on my list of dishes to tackle. Enjoy!
Surprisingly easy! And delicious!
I'm not single, so hopefully I'm ok commenting! My best friend, though, IS single AND she lives in London, and your post made me think of her because she hosted her big "orphan expats" Thanksgiving party last month and it was a huge success – I hope your party is, too!
(BTW, I think those jewelry commercials are horribly cliched, melodramatic, and tacky.)
haha of course you can reply — to any of my posts! to be fair i hated the commercials when i was in a relationship — they just feel more antagonistic when single.
I've been single during a lot of holidays. You know what I did? I cried. Yes, I did. Sometimes I visited friends and had fun. Sometimes I was home alone feeling like the world was having the greatest party of all and I was not included. Then one day I decided I did not care anymore. I told myself it takes only a few days and then it will be over, and life will be back to normal. Honestly, good friends is the best support you can get during the holiday season. I wish I knew you back in a day when I was crying. :)
If I knew you then, you would be over at my place all the time! :) I know it can be worse — I LOVE the holidays so I\’m just trying to participate as much as possible.
Even if I am not single can I come and eat meat!? That sounds like a damn good meal.
Have you been actively looking for someone? or putting yourself in the right social settings?
Next time! No, I\’m not actively looking. What, pray tell, are the right social settings? ;)
I would say the right social settings are whatever would put you in the best opportunity to meet someone. For example, I had a buddy who was single for way longer than he wanted to be (not anymore) but he was spending a lot of time at my house. I am married with a kid there is little chance some girl was going to walk through the door and start a convo with him lol
HA, good point! :)
If you're single, being single during the holidays is a fact of life. There are lots of ways to manage. This blog post has a pod: http://eleanorewells.com/readying-your-single-sel…
Aw it sounds like you’ll still have a good time with your friends :) and the roast beef sounds delish!
I agree, it can suck. It's not such a big deal if you have family or at least friends who throw shindigs/will bring you to their families' to-dos.
When i lived in Seattle and was single, I had a LOT of time to kill on Christmas day. Parents lived out of town. So I opened my presents by myself (whee.) and then watched TV or movies to kill the day. Blech.
To be fair, though, Tim and I have been together for 6 years and Christmas still feels a little hollow. I think it's more about traditions than the company you share it with. (Though company is always nice, of course.)
Tim and I need to start some traditions this year to make it feel like more than just a day where we start out opening some presents.
And Tim and I always laugh at the engagement ring/jewelry commercials. Tim knows I'd kill him if he came home with a gemstone item without my express permission. And an engagement ring at Christmas always seemed like kind of like cheating to me. And I still wonder who in the hell gets their spouse a car as a surprise.
You are SO RIGHT — it is like cheating! Or like one guy I knew who was not sure what to get his girlfriend for her birthday — blam!
[...] from Frugal Portland presents The Truth About Being Single Around the Holidays, and says, “Being single is a bit more painful this time of year, so I’m making my own [...]
I've been single for most of my life. It's not so bad when you think about the breakup drama a lot of people go through. My recommendation: friends, movies (with happy stories), and keeping yourself busy by staying in tip-top shape. I'm sure you have high standards, but that means you are likely to run into guys with high standards too — keep that in mind!
Hey, thanks for the kind words! I just put another \”and being single\” post up while you wrote this comment — something in the air!