I want to tell a little story about my dad’s mom.
My grandma is a strong, vibrant woman who is 85 years old. She married my grandpa young, and had many wonderful years with him, before the asbestos made an appearance in his lungs and took him from her way too soon. I think he was 66 when he died, which was just too soon. He died in 1992, and Grandma has been living alone in her giant Nebraska house for the last twenty years.
My frugal grandma
Grandma had six boys and one girl, and they all grew into some of the best people I know. They also married some of the best people out there. My family gets together every year (no joke) around Grandma’s birthday and spends a weekend filled with merriment.
She has the best attitude. She lives in Grand Island, Nebraska, a place not known for its winter charms. One winter, she was snowed in for an entire month. That month was December.
We called her on Christmas (she was alone) and asked how she was surviving. “Oh,” she said, “it’s the first Christmas in my whole life that I get to eat whatever I want for dinner tonight. Do you know how great frozen pizza tastes when it’s all you ever wanted in a dinner?”
I remember thinking at the time, wow, if I get even ten percent of her positive attitude, I will be one lucky girl.
She has a really expansive definition of family, which is impressive, given that at her age, she could be a little less inclusive and no one would blame her for it. But if you look at the framed pictures, the ones she puts where she can see them every single day, you see more than just her kid’s kids. A few of her children married people who had kids from a previous marriage, and those pictures are as prominently displayed as those of her own grandkids.
She has a big heart, and loves everyone. She’s also not afraid to tell you what she thinks. She’s one of many women in my life from whom I could have inherited that trait.
One year, when I was visiting, she said, “you know, I have to tell you, when you were 13, I thought you were a brat. I’m glad you’re not a brat anymore.”
I smiled and said thank you.
She only buys what’s on sale, and up until this year, she would spend the better part of three hours driving across town to buy the sale items at each of her favorite grocery stores. Now she sends her two local kids to do the same, and they go for her, every week. She stockpiles food. She has a giant freezer and two regular refrigerators with freezers. Now, who am I to blame her? She couldn’t leave her house for a month! In my house, I’d likely starve if it came to that, since I only stock up for one week at a time.
Grandma grew up in the depression era, and does not waste food, ever.
In fact, the one harsh word I ever heard her say was about one of the women that one of her kids married. Her tone got conspiratorial. “I just don’t like some of the things she does,” she confided. “Did you know that she threw away an entire tomato because of one lousy mold spot? The nerve of that woman!”
This tickled me to no end. This is the kind of gossip my grandma does.
She’s on the list of “Kathleen’s Homemade Christmas” but I don’t usually hear if she got the things I sent or if they got lost in the mail. Once I asked my dad about it. “So, I never heard anything from Grandma, do you think she got my package?”
“Oh! She told me that she hid everything in her bedroom closet so that the kids wouldn’t take her present. I guess that’s your answer,” Dad told me.
It’s grandma who makes me think there is such a thing as a frugal gene. She was born frugal, and she will die frugal. She’s not penniless, but she still, to this day tells you how great of a deal she got on something.
I’d like to think I have a little bit of Grandma in me. Although (don’t tell her this) I too have thrown out a rotten tomato.
Ha! I love the story about the tomato with one measly mold spot – what a classic!
right? and how that was a gossip story? she is so funny.
What a great story! :)
Thanks, Michelle!
Grand Island? My brother broke down there once!
Got to love that Depression-era frugality mentality. My grandmother taught me to cut the mold off the cheese and bread and eat the rest of it.
I love that you know Grand Island! :)
She sounds awesome! I think back to my grandparents (on my dad's side who grew up close to me). They were so frugal and thrifty. I admire how much my grandma cooked and canned vegetables. And they had a huge pantry in the basement as well. My grandpa had a huge garden and also a workshop where he would fix things that break instead of buying new things. I wish I had a fraction of any of those skills but I hardly have any. I guess in a way, the next generation will probably look at us and admire things we are doing right now that they probably won't have to do. I wonder what that might be…
Right? Like, oh great-aunt Kathleen once had the same cell phone for THREE YEARS can you believe that?
Haha, man, that's awesome. I hope to be that happy and inclusive when I'm old! Although I guess if any of us want to be that way, that we shoudl starrt now. :-) My wife sounds like your grandma. 'waste not, want not' is her big thing!
happy, content, loving — we should all strive for those things!
A whole month? Good golly! My grandma also has two chest freezers and two fridges. My mom actually wanted to keep it a secret when my parents downsized their freezer, because she was afraid my grandma would not be okay with it. Clearly the appropriate ratio is 2 per person! Haha.
RIGHT? And she wasn't even going stir crazy! It's a deep contentedness she exhibits. Did your grandma ever find out your mom got rid of a PERFECTLY GOOD freezer?
Sounds like a pretty awesome lady, and like my own grandmother! My grandmother always had enough food in her two freezers to feed an army for a month.
sounds silly but she is always prepared!
Love this, Kathleen. Reminds me of my own grandma. She grew up during the Great Depression as well and some of her traits and habits of being frugal, I try to emulate.
thank you, Mackenzie!
It's our secret. Tomato-hater.
heh. you are going to find Grandma and I'm going to be back on the "brat" side!
Makes me wish I could give my own grandparents a big hug right now. Thanks, Kathleen.
You're welcome. I kind of want to hug a grandparent right now, too!
I think your grandma is a great illustration of how money values have changed the past couple of generations. She may well be exceptionally frugal genetically, but I think it's more likely that what was typical for her generation with respect to money, consumption, and saving looks, from the perspective of the present generation, as hyper-frugal. We need only look around to observe the consequences, no?
Exactly! Also it might have something to do with the pioneer spirit that's still alive in the midwest.
I'm not sure if it's genetics, though maybe it is because my grandparents are very frugal, and so are my parents, and same with me and my sisters. Great post!
Thanks! I'm sure it's partially learned, partially genetic. Grandma was born in 1927 so her first memories were REALLY lean times. She learned and then passed on those genes?
What a sweet story. Sounds like my grandfather, who also passed much too early. I don't know if it's genetics or your upbringing. Especially living through the depression- my grandparents were the same way…as is my mom…as am i…
SEE it might be somewhat genetic. Although I'm nowhere near as frugal as Grandma. I've never judged someone for throwing out moldy food.
What a lovely story. I'm not sure if it's genetic because my siblings are not frugal at all where my mum and dad were. My wife's family is somewhat frugal however her father said that if her grandfather was alive him and her would make a good pair when it came to saving money. Her grandmother used coupons all the time though so maybe that's where she gets it from lol. Her sibling is not frugal but does watch where the money goes. Mr.CBB
thanks, CBB!
What a wonderful post. Gave me great pleasure reading this and reminded me of my own grandparents. All of whom have passed much too early. I was kind of saddened to hear your grandma was alone on Christmas. Someone should have stormed the place and dug her out by hand just to visit ;)
That's what I thought, too, until I talked to her — honestly you could hear her happiness!
I think it is educational and attitude. It is a great gift to you – see it on a regular basis. People talk about it all day long, but see it and feel it it is absolutely awesome.
I agree. And none of us are as frugal as our grandparents HAD to be.
Your grandma sounds awesome! Perhaps its a good mix of genes and leading by example?
probably! she is really awesome.
Your grandma sounds amazing!! It's a shame that her positive 'love life' attitude isn't apparent in more people in this generation!
or any generation, right?
Is it nature or nurture? I am the son of a depression era parents. They were very frugal although were wealthy. In fact, I was brought up poor. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but it isn't. I get what I needed not what I wanted. In other words, I was raised frugally. My wife and I did the same for our children. Since they are successful adults, it was a good thing.
sounds like there's a post in there somewhere… how to let rich kids grow up poor!
I'm with krantcents. It's hard to separate nature vs nurture. If you grow up with frugal folks, you're more likely to be frugal. My dad and mom had rather different ideas about money. But I spent far more time with my mom, so I grew up with more frugal attitudes.
Fascinating!
She was snowed in for 3 months!
ACK 3 months!
Your grandma is adorable. Reminds me of mine. I love her attitude and sounds like her kindness and frugality rubbed off on you.
Thanks, Sydney!
Great story! Your grandma sounds like a neat person. And by the way, I think that frugality, in some manner, might have some kind of genetic component. I've seen multiple generations keeping similar habits, even if not exactly the same.
I'm glad you're not a brat anymore either. :) Grandmas are always interesting aren't they.
I would be about your mother's age. It is refreshing that you appreciate where and who you came from. It is refreshing that you talk about the older members of your family with love and genuine respect. it is refreshing that you know that the older people in your family have something valuable to share with you, and that you give credit where credit is due.
Agism is so prevalent in our culture, you present the an antitheses.
Thank you so much for this comment. I hope you get extra love from your kids, because you are clearly awesome.